I was watching a tv show about a particularly scary gang, and it got me thinking. For various numbers of reasons, we all want or have to belong to someone or something. It’s an inherent part of our nature to join together in a show of unity, as well as a form of protection. While the feelings of belonging are indeed powerful, they might also want to be looked at more closely. Are you a member because it’s a choice that you made with the depth of your being, or is it because you felt that a choice had to be made for other exterior purposes?
As you heard previously, I was raised in the cradle of the US military family system, and much of my youth was spent in Japan which is my other home. I’ve always been fascinated by the feudal era when the samurai had firm control of the country’s protection against itself and its foreign attackers. As a matter of fact, I’m amazed to watch warriors period, no matter where or when they exist. Like any institution, they swore allegiance to their feudal lord and belonged to his household. They trained and fought for the sole purpose of this belonging. But when their lord lost his power, they had an excruciating choice to make: die with honor, or lose dignity and transfer allegiance. This stood as their supreme test of their belief in their loyalty. Many chose death over dishonor.
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But there were a few samurai who didn’t believe in belonging to a master, or had simply lost their master, and they were known as Ronin. You’ve seen those samurai movies where the warrior wasn’t dressed in the silk finery, but looked almost wild in their appearance. No, not everyone cultivated this look, but there were those who wanted to stand apart because they belonged to themselves before any other. They accepted what their society considered a stigma and bore it with fortitude and dedication to themselves. Many didn’t have more than what they carried with them. But they had themselves, and it carried them through the hard times and made them stronger.
One example is Miyamoto Musashi, who is revered in Japan as one of the greatest warriors of all time. |
In today’s modern world, little has changed. We are still told to swear loyalty to a brand, to a company, or to a country. But nowhere is there a requirement to swear loyalty to yourself. I think that before you can belong to someone or something else, once you’ve made that decision, you should at least know what you’re offering that person or institution. Your personal views, morals, and desires all make up who you are. You may not present all of them to the outer world, but you will to those inner few who are close to you. The choice of belonging is one of the most personal actions that we offer one another, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Before you take the plunge of belonging that will change who you are, I’d suggest that you go out and find yourself first. Experience the world around you. Do what will make you grow. I chose to learn to fly, to take martial arts, to learn about different cultures and languages, and so many other things that define the me that I want to be. That way, what I offer to others is much more meaningful because it’s who I really am. I don’t deny that I have my flaws. I just make sure that others around me who want to belong in my world are aware of them and accept them. Because I’m not changing just to fit in. No one should have to. Belong to yourself first, then your belonging to others will be more meaningful.
Just a thought…
