So, I was going through my daily Reddit when I found out that Allie from Hyperbole and a Half posted…finally. After the news about her book, I’ve been wondering how she’s doing and it looks like we’ve found out:
If you haven’t read her post on how she’s dealing with her depression, then you should if you want to understand what it “feels” like to be depressed. Take it from someone who’s also suffered from it for a really long time, it’s so accurate that you could just point to it when people ask you how you’re feeling. And it proves that there really is no tailor made answer that fits everyone’s circumstances. Be prepared to cry because it’s familiar.
I totally related to the feeling of nothingness. Waking up to yet another day of feeling nothing. Of looking at people who love you and you love back, but not being able to feel what you’re supposed to feel. It was years of being scared but not really realizing it because you…felt…nothing. When you finally lose those things that make you YOU, then you really wonder if you’ll ever get you back. Just like those around you wonder if you’ll ever be the same person they love.
But when the feelings finally do return, you realize that you’re on an unstoppable roller-coaster ride full of UPs and downs that just won’t quit. My return came through martial arts. I have no clue if it was the cure because I was scared to try anything else for a while in case my depression returned. I clung to martial arts like a life jacket. And then I fell in love with how it made me stronger. Strong enough that I could return to my other loves like writing (which I was afraid I would never get back). Well, I think that I can get over THAT fear now, huh?
If you’re struggling with depression (who isn’t nowadays???), then check out Allie’s latest outpouring. You’ll totally feel at home because you understand what she’s going through. You’re not one of those rays of sunshine that are trying to brighten you to death. You’re probably feeling like the fish right now. But then, someday, out of the blue you will start to feel like the corn. Embrace the silliness that ensues. Hug the overload of emotions you’ll feel. Power through the bursts of activity that will inevitably cause many, many ripples. And then grab hold as you start life anew, probably with too many feelings swirling around you. Pick a target…focus on a new wonder…and live! Because it will be less about the emotional wonders of whether everything really is BS.
I’m sure that everyone is happy to hear from Allie, thankful that someone can finally describe depression in a relatable way, and wishing that she gets past the BS…no pressure intended. It happens on your own time table, which means that it’s unpredictable. That part sucks, too.
