It hurts when you lose your soul. I can’t even begin to describe the pain, the hopelessness, the utter despair that is hard to overcome. A major key to survival is the requirement that you live the life that you are meant to live. Most of us don’t get that luxury. And lately, that is being beaten into our souls each and every second that we draw breath.
I started this blog to share the things that excited my soul. I looked for beauty and creativity and uniqueness. But I soon found that this was a superficial search at best when the world was crumbling around us in a way that I’ve never experienced before. Perhaps I had refused to see it clearly. Perhaps I avoided the pain so that I could take another step forward as I drew breath.
But today, that breath hurts. Tears are drowning my eyes so that all I see is the misery that so many others cannot escape. Meaning is now different for me. I just can’t do this anymore…
This image is killing me. The fact that it is not a human should tell you something. Humanity has lost its shine for me. Or maybe it’s the sheer inhumanity that we are all suffocating in. I’m sorry to bring this up, but it (life, the universe, everything) has to mean something, or this one life will have lived in vain. And it hurts even more when you know that this scene is being duplicated everywhere.
Sea Legacy captures a soul crushing image
Read more about this important story here at the Guardian.
We value beauty because we feel that it is somehow unique to humanity. But it really isn’t. Nature makes such wonders that pale all human creativity in comparison. So why do we choose to kill an incredibly important source of inspiration that can never be duplicated? Every living moment, every unique impression is different from the past and will be different in the future. Our impacts guarantee that nothing stays the same forever. Why can’t we get this one important insight??? Why do all of our pursuits miss the point of existence that surpasses logic. I have so many questions that come after this one plea for sanity.
2017 has been the toughest year for so many of us. But not for reasons that we can readily address, simply because the world refuses to speak out loud the words buried in our souls. Today is the day that I can no longer stand it. I refuse to let the pain render me helpless. I am going to stand up and fight…somehow…with whomever I can find that will stand with me. I know that others like me exist. I just need to find you.
I am reaching out for you. Here I am.
